Is this what you deserve?

What's the biggest difference between not getting what you want and not getting what you deserve? 

Not getting what you want is a part of life. Not getting what you deserve is unjust - almost criminal. That's why our increasingly entitled consumer society has embraced the idea of deserving the things we want so completely.

Let's visit the concept of " deserving." 

I saw a Botox commercial once where a barbie-faced cougar looked at me through the TV and said with confidence "you deserve it." Now, let's forget that she had never met me and had no way of knowing that I deserved to have facial injections. Let's forget that that's true of every person who viewed that commercial. What I want to know is this: what can a person actually do to deserve Botox?

The word "deserve" is almost exclusively used in a context of discontent. "I deserve that" - "I don't deserve this." What if we turned it around and focused on the act of deserving and not the thing we deserve?

For example: let's say you enter a marathon. You train and train, you show up the day of the race, you run harder than ever before, and you come in fourth place. Later, you find out that two of the winners failed to make one of the check points and one of them is using an illegal performance enhancer. By default, you deserve the first place trophy.

Focusing on the thing: discontentment because you do not have the trophy.
Focusing on the act: contentment because you accomplished the act of running the best race.

Focusing on the act can also replace entitlement with gratefulness.

I was at the train station watching a homeless man hustle people for money, food and smokes when a rather misanthropic thought hit me. "What does that man deserve? If he is the unemployed, disadvantaged, homeless person he is portraying to be, he deserves very little. Our country believes that he deserves life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Beyond that, it doesn't look good. He doesn't deserve to have money that he doesn't work for. He doesn't deserve smokes and food that he doesn't pay for.

Therefore, that man deserves to die of starvation in a ditch." 

That is truth, and sometimes truth is very cold. So why does he not starve? Grace and mercy from the people around him.

Grace is a thing that we cannot deserve - and as an idea, the value of grace is almost lost on a society that believes it deserves everything it wants.

When you take stock of your life, you will find two things to be true:

1. Most of what you deserve, you do not have
2. Most of what you have, you do not deserve

Focus on the act of deserving, and you will be satisfied and grateful. If you deserve more than what you have, be satisfied that you have lived an admirable life. If you deserve less than what you have, be grateful for the grace given to you.