Answer: being bad at it
Three months ago, I was three months out of college and jobless. I dug down deep and found the humility to apply to every minimum wage job near my apartment. Great Wall Chinese Cuisine called me. I went to the interview. Filled out the W-4. They issued me one black apron and one blue silk tie.
I endure the creepy old man who wants to give me his son's number and the gluten intolerant customer who always orders "whatever I had last time." It's not esteem-building, but its necessary.
Tonight, my manager sat me down about a discrepancy in the drawer count a couple of nights ago - and while we were talking, she mentioned that my performance is still not up to par. To be brief, I'm on "probation" while they figure out if I'm worth keeping. As humiliating as it was, I couldn't help but smile - almost laugh.
I dedicate that smile to my mother.
My mom: the woman who taught me to accept who I am. The woman who could always top my blondest moments with one of her own - just so we could laugh together. I can still hear her calming words, the ones I heard many times growing up and will probably hear many more times "Honey, you are NOT stupid."
My mother. The woman who can't check her voicemail, yet if it wasn't for her the community pool wouldn't have opened last Summer. She can't tell right from left, but she can turn a group of pre-madonnas into an angelic junior-high choir. And this Christmas, when I accidentally left my cell phone at Grandma's house... so did she.
1 comment:
Love ya honey! I would drive to Fresno to give you a hug in person, but I forgot where I put my keys..actually I know where they are . They are in my purse. But I can't remember where I put that either. :~)
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